


Something Like Comfortable

by Gygas (EnRaa)



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst and Feels, Explicit Language, High School, Horny Teenagers, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-04 19:13:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15847605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnRaa/pseuds/Gygas
Summary: He could pretend he never got the texts, just lay back down and keep watching his TV show. He likes that plan; It's comfortable, means he doesn't have to do anything more than just sit here in bed. Things don't get weird in bed by himself, don't get confusing or cross lines that probably shouldn't be crossed. It's emotionally safe.His phone buzzes again.





	Something Like Comfortable

A soft buzz draws Craig's attention from the TV to his phone, and a quick glance at the too-bright screen has his mood souring pretty quick.

 _Clyde_  
_12:01 u up?_

Craig sighs deeply, considers just ignoring the text and telling Clyde he didn't wake up when he asks about it in the morning. After a moment, the phone buzzes again, breaking Craig's contemplation and further angering him. He checks his phone again, rolling his eyes at the newest text.

 _Clyde_  
_12:03 dads away for the weekend. u should come over!_

He could pretend he never got them, just lay back down and keep watching his TV show. He likes that plan; It's comfortable, means he doesn't have to do anything more than just sit here in bed. Things don't get weird in bed by himself, don't get confusing or cross lines that probably shouldn't be crossed. It's emotionally safe.

His phone buzzes again.

 _Clyde_  
_12:06 i know your just watching that stupid show on netflix again._

And again.

 _Clyde_  
_12:07 c'mon man you never go to bed this early :( come over!!_

Finally, the buzzing and the nagging get the better of him, and Craig decides he needs to shut down Clyde's incessant messaging for the night if he ever wants to have peace.

_12:08 i'm not going out tn. fuck off._

A minute passes, and Craig waits with bated breath for the string of whiny replies that never come. Another minute passes, then another, and he pats himself on the back for not giving in and managing to shut Clyde down.

Then his ringtone goes off, a familiar tune he'd assigned to Clyde and Clyde alone, and Craig all but snarls as he hits 'talk'. “What do you want, asshole? I told you I'm not going out tonight.” The ferocious tone does nothing to dissuade Clyde, though, as he's too used to Craig's bullshit to really take it to heart. Years of friendship will do that.

“ _What's your problem? I just thought you'd wanna get out of the house and away from your parents for the weekend, jesus. Dad left us a case of beer and everything._ ”

As good as that sounds, as tempting as it is, it's never just 'getting away from the parents' with Clyde. It's never just drinks and pizza while they play video games or watch TV. It never stays that simple. “I'm not in the mood, Clyde. Ask Token or something.” He bites out as he fumbles for his remote to turn his TV up, hoping that will be a good enough hint that he wants to stay in.

“ _I don't want to hang out with Token! C'mon man, please? We barely hang out anymore!_ ” Clyde sounds a little sad, but Craig stands firm. After all, it's the brunet's fault he needs to keep a wall between them. Craig certainly didn't start all this shit.

“Get one of your girlfriends to spend the weekend with you. Bebe or something... I'm sure they'd love it.” Craig suggests, desperate for anything that would change Clyde's mind.

“ _I don't want one of them! I wanna hang out with_ you _._ ” Clyde insists, and Craig knows he's breaking quick, knew it won't be long before he breaks based on where this is going.

“Clyde, please...” He tries, one last hope that Clyde won't be selfish, won't do this just _once_...

“ _But I miss you..._ ”

And there it is, the exact thing he'd been dreading; That one thing Clyde knows always works to get Craig to give in, no matter how much Craig argues and pleads with him.

That Clyde-brand of innocent affection that the jock has no problem throwing out like normal conversation. The one thing that can always make Craig feel like the asshole he knows he can be, because no matter how bad his intentions were behind using it on his friend time and time again, Craig isn't that big of an asshole. He knew Clyde never lies about how he feels, wears his heart on his shoulder. He knows he doesn't lie when he says 'I miss you', or 'I love you', and Craig can't just stomp on Clyde's feelings like that, can't shut him out.

“ _Craig..?_ ” He can hear the barely-suppressed hope in Clyde's voice as he pushes for the answer he already knows.

“Give me 20.”

He packs a bag for the weekend and leaves a short note on the kitchen counter for his parents before leaving. He knows they won't care that he's spending the entire weekend over Clyde's; Ironically, since he 'came out' years ago, Clyde is the one guy he's allowed to hang out with that his parents don't automatically assume he'll screw around with. Craig assumes it's because they've been friends for so long. Regardless of their reasoning, it's nice having one place to go that doesn't get the 'safe sex with consent' talk.

Walking at an angry, brisk pace, he makes it to Clyde's with five minutes to spare. He barely gets one knock on the door before Clyde is pulling him in. “Thanks for coming over!” Clyde beams at him, and before he can even reply, the jock has him in a bear hug that easily squeezes the life out of him.

“Jesus, Clyde, you seen me at school today. Don't be so dramatic.” Craig wheezes, and Clyde finally lets him go with a frown.

“Yeah, but it's been like a month since we hung out like this. Aren't you excited? We got the house to ourselves, we got drinks and food, the Playstation...” Clyde trails off, and that excitement is right back like it never faltered. “It'll be just like old times!”

Craig has to try hard not to wince at those words. He can't think of any part of what was coming that would ever feel like 'old times'. “Yeah, like old times.” He agrees somberly, and luckily Clyde doesn't pry into his sour mood, just takes his bag off his shoulder and brings it upstairs to his room.

“Got the drinks ready in the living room!” Clyde calls over his shoulder. “Help yourself!”

He doesn't waste any time grabbing a can of beer and sitting back on the couch, cracking it open and drinking more than half in just a couple of gulps. He knows Clyde won't care, will just assume he's eager to unwind, and really he wouldn't be _wrong_ to assume that.

Clyde comes back downstairs and smiles when he sees Craig getting comfortable. “You need this, y'know.” He says pointedly as he plops down at the other end of the couch, grabbing his own can and cracking it open.

“And why do you figure that?” Craig asks dryly, picking up a remote off the end table and turning the stereo system on, flicking through the first few tracks of the punk mix CD Clyde left in the last time they did this until he finds something he likes.

Something he can ground himself with.

“You have to be the most uptight person I know, man. You need to relax more. It's kind of a downer that we can't do this more often so you can let loose.” Clyde leans back into the arm of the couch and bobs his head to the music, taking a sip of his beer. He looks perfectly comfortable, like he's at peace with himself and everything that will inevitably happen this weekend.

Craig envies that.

“I'm not uptight.” He mutters, and Clyde shoots him a doubtful look. “What? I'm not!” Craig argues, but that look never falters. “Whatever.” He growls, flipping Clyde off as he takes another drink, feeling his irritation rise when Clyde just laughs at his antics. He sighs, deciding he'll play the game, then. “Alright, I'm uptight. So what? What are a couple of drinks gonna do?”

“Let you act the way you want to.” Clyde supplies simply, regarding him with a gaze that looks too knowing, too... _smart_ for how much of a lovable dumbass Clyde is, and being studied so closely makes Craig feel too hot. Though he assumes that could be the beer, too.

“And how do I _want_ to act, huh?” Craig growls, growls because he doesn't like emotional show and tell. Doesn't like what it tends to reveal. He isn't an open person like Clyde, and he doesn't feel like changing that tonight.

“Like you're comfortable, like no one is looking at you and waiting for you to be an asshole.” He watches Craig shift uncomfortably as he speaks, looks him in the eyes and Craig drops his gaze immediately to avoid being that open.

“I'm comfortable.” Craig mutters stubbornly, and Clyde smiles, entirely unconvinced.

“ _Sure_ you are.” He says, smile growing into a smirk, and Craig rolls his eyes.

“What would you know about me being comfortable? Not like I make it your business.” He snaps at the jock, because when all else fails he can be angry and make him back off.

But he doesn't, and the brunet levels him with a look that almost scares Craig with its intensity. “I know because I see you when you're comfortable,” He says, and Craig frowns. “-and I've never seen it when you weren't buzzed and after getting fucked.” Clyde elaborates, and Craig flushes immediately. “It's like after you've felt so good there's nothing left to get you riled up, and you're always so talkative and open. _Comfortable_.”

Craig knows he probably looks as red as a tomato, hates that Clyde sees that. “I don't always feel comfortable...” He mutters, stubborn as ever. If Clyde was going to dissect him, he might as well throw all the cards on the damn table. “After all, how can I relax when I don't know why you want me here?”

Clyde looks taken aback, and Craig pats himself on the back for actually addressing it. Least he might be able to put a stop to this mess. And maybe Clyde will stop pushing. Maybe.

“What are you talking about, Craig? You're here because you're my best friend and I want to hang out with you.” He feels a little bad, because he can hear the hurt in Clyde's voice, hears the sincerity there too, but he needs to get it out in the air.

“Best friends don't hang out and spend all night fucking around, Clyde. They don't have to bring lube to weekend sleepovers.” Craig grits out, and it's weird saying it out loud, but it's true. He had expected Clyde to be angry or sad, but the jock is neither. He's just...listening. Not pushing, but watching Craig bare himself like an idiot.

And to think he's not even buzzed yet.

“I like hanging out, playing games and getting drunk and listening to music... I don't like _this;_ I don't like not knowing where I stand, as a friend or a boyfriend or a fuck-buddy...and feeling like I'm no different than Bebe, for Christ's sake.” Craig picks at the can of beer, pulling the little metal tab back and forth as he speaks. “I always figured I might've been your way of secretly exploring bisexuality or something. That you knew I wouldn't say anything to ruin your reputation at school.”

“You think that I would use you to experiment...?” Clyde looks eerily close to crying, and although it's been a while since he's cried, Craig just isn't sure he's in the mood to deal with that tonight.

“I don't know, man... I don't know what to think. You call me up, tell me to come over, we play a round of Call of Duty while drinking and then you bend me over the goddamn bed. Lather, rinse repeat, and then Monday we don't fucking talk about it.”

They're silent for a long moment, and then Clyde sits his beer on the coffee table. “Craig... How can you be like Bebe or any other girls I used to date when I haven't been with them since we started this?” Clyde asks him slowly, and Craig blinks as that sets in.

“What.” It's less a question and more of a stalling technique because Craig isn't sure what's going on anymore. “But you were with Bebe last week-”

Clyde laughs, an honest laugh, and shakes his head, and Craig thanks his lucky stars that he isn't going to cry anymore. “I was helping her find shoes for her dress at my dad's shop. She promised to do my part of our Chem project if I got her a discount at the store.” He admitted sheepishly.

Craig stared at him. “So you guys were just hanging out?”

“I haven't been with anyone else, Craig. It's only been you. Haven't you been listening?”

Craig blinks and processes it all, feeling like an idiot because no, he doesn't listen when Clyde talks about what he does with girls. Maybe he should, because he's been getting the wrong impression, obviously. “Okay...” He breaths, a little shaky because that is weird news. “Okay.” A little more confident, like he's ready to actually figure this out despite being terrified. “So...what? Are we...” Boyfriends? Exclusive fuck-buddies? The list goes on and each thought makes Craig more and more antsy.

“I don't know... I know you like that your parents don't ask questions when you're here, so I didn't want it to get around that we do this. I know you've hated that since Tweek...” Clyde offers him a kind smile, the kind reserved only for him, usually. “I thought you knew when I told you I love you-”

“You always told me you love me. Like since we're 10. Even when you had girlfriends!” Craig interrupts, and Clyde thinks for a second.

“Oh. Yeah. I guess you're right.” The jock says slowly, realizing his grave mistake all at once, and Craig can't help the chuckle that slips out.

“So what, you want to be...low-key boyfriends then...?” He still isn't sure he's getting it. He blames the beer. But he feels like they're getting somewhere. Whether it's somewhere good, he doesn't necessarily know.

Clyde shrugs his shoulders. “I want you to be comfortable. I love you... Like, really love you.” He says simply, like it isn't the most heavy thing he's said to his best friend in years. Like always, Clyde is completely sure of his emotions, something Craig can't sympathize with at all. “I want to be with you, whatever way you want to be together. If you wanna tell everyone, we will. If you wanna keep it quiet, we will.”

Craig stares at him for a long moment. “Clyde, don't you have this big reputation to be worried about at school? Y'know, tough jock that'll kick your ass and steal your girl?” He wasn't sure if he was just trying to understand this better, or perhaps remind Clyde that he wasn't the one who was supposed to be pining, that it's been the other way around for years now...

“We're almost done of school anyway, and no one is gonna care obviously, I mean look at Stan and Kyle.” Clyde points out, and Craig imagines that he probably used these exact arguments to justify this all to himself.

“So you really want to be boyfriends?” Craig asks slowly, and Clyde beams at him like a hopeful dork, and Craig can't help but chuckle as he sits his beer down on the end-table and shuffles over to straddle Clyde's lap. “Alright, I think we can do that.” Clyde kisses him then, and it's probably the most emotionally-charged kiss Craig's ever received. Something so different from their usual buzz-induced make out sessions.

 When they part, there's no fireworks or this otherworldly knowledge that this was meant to be and they've found their soulmates or something, but damn if Craig doesn't feel something like comfortable for the first time in a long time. He looks forward to feeling this more often. _Much_ more often, he knew, if Clyde had his way.

And Craig is just fine with that.


End file.
